The only one with sympathy for BP...

Dear Obama,

First off I'd like to congratulate you on being the American version of a Prime Minister, you totally deserved. I'm not just saying that because you're black either. I have loads of black friends...well, some.

Just so you know, I know how it feels to be the new guy and its hard, especially when you move to a new house and make new friends and stuff. I recently moved house myself and had to deal with an over friendly shopkeeper in my new Coop, he's nice and all, but a little bit tiring, a bit like Hillary I suppose. But I have to be firm and remind you that no one likes a bully, and just because people haven't been very nice to you and you haven't lived up to America's ridiculous Christ like expectation of you is no reason to take it out on everyone else.

Personally I thought the Health care bill was a lovely idea! But the unpopularity of your handling of the economic crisis and the on-going illegal war in the East is no reason to take it out on poor old BP. They must be having a tough time too Bamz (I can call you Bamz, right?). Essentially, I think that you two just need to sit down and have a talk about it, 'old school' style. I have completed a NVQ (level 2) in Mediation and I think that between us we can sort out this little misunderstanding. I'm sure that BP didn't mean to leak oil into the Mexican Gulf, in fact I'm sure of it. Besides, its only the 'Mexican' Gulf anyway. But they're trying their very best to clear it up and its cost them an awful lot of money, 11 Billion Pounds to be precise (that's about a Gazillion in your 'dollars'). Now that may not be a lot to you, but its a lot of money to some people. And I'm not saying that they're innocent in all this, I would never land all this on you homeboy so I'll be talking to them too. But they've already said they're sorry and they've even sacked CEO Tony Hayward, so the least you could to would be to accept their apologies and then we can all go for a nice swim.

Peace bro.

Tiernan