You won't beliEEve how fucking angry I am.

 Good evening,

I am writing to you today out of exasperation, frustration and fatigue. I have been an EE customer from the inception of the decision to become the deformed lovechild of T mobile and EE. From looking at my account, you will notice that I have rang up many, many times and generally regarding the same problem. However, for the now 5th time let me explain.

Essentially, my mobile phone does not function as a phone. More often than not I get it out to look at it and notice that I have 'no service'. After a while of waving the bloody thing around my head like a chimp throwing faeces I get a signal, usually followed by a number of notifications that I have missed calls and voice mail. Pretty irritating I'm sure you'll agree? Given these problems I would ring up EE and am either told that there is 'no problem' with service in my area (though if this was the case then surely my phone would be working) or, more commonly that there is 'on-going work going on in my area which is effecting some users'. Both of these are irritating outcomes, as essentially the party line from EE is frankly 'tough' and I am simply supposed to just accept that the company with the nation's best service cannot offer a resolution. Actually can I ask, who's idea is it to commission work in the middle of the bloody day? Can't this be done at night time?

As I write I have been thinking about how much time I have spent on the phone to EE...there's at least 10 calls, each probably no less than 30 minutes. That's 5 hours, that's nearly a working day! If I was to invoice someone for that time then I could by a Gaggia coffee maker.

I'm not asking for much, but right now. Right this second, my phone's internet connection isn't working and I have just had enough. Please, please allow me to end my contract with you without financial penalty. I can't listen to Paulo f***in' Nuitini or that Lumineers song any more.

If you want to talk to me I would suggest call me, but lets be honest...the network will probably be having problems, right?

Tiernan Welch